my shit smells like andre
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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