I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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