addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
