I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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