All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
