The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
