I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
