I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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