so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
