Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
