If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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