I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
