he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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