jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
