I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
