i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
