Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
