Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
