I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
