I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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