he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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