Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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