You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
two words: eviction party
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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