Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
