shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
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debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
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And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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