Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
