ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
