my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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