come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
