A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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