apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
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Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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