His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
