rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
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i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
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Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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