i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
