Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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