I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think your dad took our porno
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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