This girl is more easily done than said...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
