Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
