Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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