Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
