How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
