is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
