And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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