her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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