so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
