I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
