Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He did a backflip because drugs
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
