drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
