This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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