im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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