i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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