help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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