u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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