is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Can you bring me the toilet please
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
