You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
