hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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