How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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