Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
