After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
